Holidays can be dicey for people going through grief. While everyone else is eating, moaning, grumbling about required family appearances, or watching football, some people are in their own world — remembering when someone they love was there — skin on, for everyone to see and hear. But this year, the person’s absence is profoundly noticeable. Other holidays go better.

If you’re having a hard time, please feel free to stop by. Someone will be here to read you post, respond to you, and to care. Or, stop by and say nothing. Just stare. It won’t make the pain go away. It won’t bring back the person. But I’m hoping the site can at least symbolize the truth that you aren’t alone no matter what you’re going through.

We’re open especially on holidays. Grief and loss don’t take these days off. They often choose them. We’ll be here too.

I sincerely hope you don’t need us. May Peace and Grace be with you. I hope you have a good day but if it’s challenging, difficult, uncomfortable, or downright horrible, know that’s normal.

Comment. Post. Read. Or get a cup of coffee and hang around for a while. If you’ve registered, maybe find some favorite pictures of other holidays and upload them to your profile. It’s okay to remember when. Do whatever feels right to you, as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone else or you. In profound absolute wisdom, our Higher Power as we understand God broke Life down into 24-hour chunks. This day is only one of them. You will get through it.

The Grief Club will be on special duty throughout the entire holiday season. If you want to spend time here responding to others in pain, you’re more than welcome to help us reach out to others.

Melody Beattie

A NOTE TO LET YOU KNOW WHAT’S NEW

Alzheimer’s Disease is Pandemic not only in the United States, but around the world.  What causes it?  We don’t know.  What cures it?  We don’t know that either.  But millions of people are figuring out how they can care for a loved one with Alzheimer’s — or another form of dementia.

“What’s the difference between dementia and Alzheimer’s?” a friend asked the other day.

“Dementia is the category of illness that Alzheimer’s Disease falls into,” I said.  “There are many different forms of dementia.  But Alzheimer’s leads the way.”

With the help of family members, I spent several years taking care of my mother, before her death from the disease.  She didn’t die directly from Alzheimer’s, but indirectly.  A fall caused her to break a leg, necessitating surgery.  The surgery caused immobility, which caused infections to set in, infections she wasn’t strong enough to fight.

Or maybe she was done.

Like many family members, I spent a number of years in denial.  She doesn’t have Alzheimer’s.  She’s just losing her edge, I’d say.  But as years passed and the edge disappeared almost entirely, I couldn’t deny it anymore.  My mother was no longer the woman I’d known.  Unlike many people with Alzheimer’s, Mom didn’t get angry or mean.  She became loving, nurturing, and child-like.  Caring for her, despite the hard work, became a joy.

For those of you who suspect a family member may have Alzheimer’s, or are in denial about a family member having it, you may want to read Chapter Two of “The Grief Club.”  Because I think this subject is particularly important, I’m posting the chapter outside, for the public, and inside, for members.

Feel free to make comments inside the site, if you registered.  Or, if for whatever reasons you haven’t registered, you can still make comments at the blog.  You can get to it by going to http://www.MelodyBeattie.com/blog.  The chapter isn’t posted there, but you can attach the comment to any article you want.

Thanks to all of you for your support of this site.  I hope you’re finding it worthwhile.

Oh, more news.  Simon & Schuster have moved up the release date for the upcoming book, “Make Miracles in Forty Days.”  You can look for it in bookstores this November.  I held a workshop to try out the principles in the book, and even I was astonished at the success rate we enjoyed.

Melody Beattie

I haven’t disappeared. I’m working hard on a screenplay in a class that’s demanding but excellent.  Thought you might like to know that I posted a blog that goes with this site at Living in the Mystery.  You can get to it by going to www.MelodyBeattie.com, Blog, then clicking the link.  The title is the Invisible Majority.  Please be sure to read Elisabeth’s comment, which motivated me to write it.  I hope things are going well and I’ll be back with some new activities, groups, and posts for you soon.  (And I’ve lost 23 pounds and my knees hurt so much less.)  Bye for now.  MB