LEARNING TO SUPPORT SOMEONE IN GRIEF

by Melody Beattie

Losing five treasured figurines and needing to be listened to, understood, and receive the gift of empathy to help heal from the loss may seem trivial when compared with losing a spouse, child, or being told we're about to reach the end of our life. But the concept of being listened to and heard is the same, no matter how big or small the loss. We don't compare pain.

Many people don't know what to say when someone is going through grief. It's easy to go into our heads and intellectualize – even preach. But when we do that, we're not comforting the other person. We're attempting to comfort ourselves. We can learn to be a good support system for anyone experiencing any loss.  Doing that will help us understand what we need when we go through Life's pains.

We can learn to be a valuable, empathetic, friend whether we've gone through the same loss that a friend or loved one is experiencingt -- or not. In this section, you'll find some does and don'ts but if you want to be worth more than gold as a friend, you'll need to go inside to the Members Only room.  You're also invited to attend the workshops and chats we have too. '

Learning to be a good friend to others helps us learn to comfort and nurture ourselves -- and that's an invaluable skill.  It's not the easiest thing to learn, supporting someone in loss.  It brings us up close and personal with pain.  It can cause us to feel vulnerable  because if it happened to them, that means it can happen to us.  But when we learn to walk that fine line between not worrying about impending doom and understanding that impermanence is a universal law, we'll be one step closer to enlightenment and as close as we can come to altruistic love.